Succeed in your first “date” at the local café, suggestions

Dany Marquis

Today I would like to give some suggestions that can increase the chances of success on your first date. And, thanks to these suggestions, I believe I can help some of you who find yourself, as Valentine's Day approaches, to open your hearts to love. Love is so beautiful!

Note that I am speaking here mainly for gentlemen, because I am the romantic type and I believe that the dance of seduction must be led by the man.

That being said, why would you accept some advice from the guy at the coffee shop? Well, know that the local coffeeshop is a favorite place for meetings of all kinds, including those touching the impulses of the heart. The coffeeshop is a neutral, dynamic, warm and very informal place, where the invitation to have a coffee implies, at first glance, nothing other than having a coffee...

And my role as a privileged observer of wildlife frequenting coffeeshops allows me to note certain simple details that, in my opinion, detract from the first impression. And we all know we don't get a second chance. So I very regularly see poor clumsy souls trying to seduce the chosen one, without much success, and the barista, from his chair, witnesses the disaster without any power to intervene. Suffering…

So here, in no specific order, are my suggestions:

The appointment

Make sure beforehand that you have prepared the ground, that she at least knows who you are, that you have a certain connection, that you have tamed her a little. If she doesn't know your name, you're going a long way. So, give yourself time to prepare for this moment. She should have heard of your exploits. If you don't have any notable feats of arms, it may be best to wait a year or two to build up a gentleman's pedigree that will allow you to make your actions speak for themselves. Suggestions:

  • Climb Everest backwards
  • Intercepting whalers in the zodiac with the Greenpeace team
  • Choking the Nemean Lion
  • Kill the Lernaean Hydra
  • Beat the doe of Ceryrinia in the race
  • Capturing Diomedes' man-eating mares
  • Descend into hell and chain the three-headed cerberus

Nothing very complicated but which will make you talked about as a different and exceptional being in the entourage of the chosen person.

-“Have you heard about the guy who works in the IT department? »

- " No "

- “It seems that at the end of last week, he descended into hell and chained up the three-headed cerberus, only to return on Sunday evening. He was even at work Monday morning to update the company's server antivirus! »

-“Wow! I would love to have coffee with him! »

You see, it's simple. And when you think the time is right, contact her by phone or in person. No emails, text messages, etc. And tell her that you would like to have coffee with her, this week if possible…


Here, my numerous readings of literary classics from the 17th century distort my perception of appropriate dress for courtship. So I'm completely useless to you because I've just been told that breeches, loose doublets and frock coats aren't really "in" this year. Even the charm of wearing a foil or saber, matched to a cavalry officer's uniform, seems forgotten. But what boring times do we live in? However, when Count Vronsky set Anna Karenina's heart on fire at a ball in St. Petersburg, he wore his uniform, a saber and a mustache. If this type of outfit, despite the increased chances of success, makes you uncomfortable, it is perhaps best not to change your clothing style too much from the one you have on a daily basis. Because beyond the first impression, if you set the bar too high, it risks being difficult to manage in the long term and giving rise to embarrassing situations; “Honey, do you want to put on your uniform tonight?” »


On this subject I would tend to suggest that you let the scent of your virile body express itself by letting nature perfume you. What could be more voluptuous than irritating the pheromones of your loved one by emanating a fragrant cloud that combines with the scent of coffee. Your aura will slyly imply an organic, carnal, fiery relationship, worthy of the sweat of the Gods of the Nile. But alas, I must once again accept my incompetence in the field and in my time, where we douse ourselves with concentrated fruit juice and essential spice oil to mask our humanity under layers of garish and crude olfactory colors . What could be better than the scent of the sweating neck of the beloved, under which you can feel the heart throbbing with desire... But I'm slipping up a bit and we're even talking about a "date" in a café ;-)

I tell you all the same, yes to perfume, but as discreet as possible. If the smoke detector activates when you enter the cafe, you have used too much smoke. It goes without saying that having a pleasant smell is important but don't overdo it, you should smell your perfume with your head on your shoulder, and not from behind the bar of your favorite café. Here, put the minimum.

Smile and listen

The only words that should come out of your mouth should have the style of the lyric poetry of Pierre de Ronsard:

Mistress, kiss me, kiss me, hold me,
Breath against breath, warm my life,
A thousand and thousand kisses, please give me,
Love wants everything without number, love has no law.

Fuck and fuck me again; beautiful mouth why
Do you keep yourself there, when you are pale,
To kiss (from Pluto or the wife or the friend),
No longer having any color or anything similar to you?

As I live, press me with your rosy lips,

Stutters, while kissing me, with half-closed lips
A thousand words cut apart, dying in my arms.

I will die in yours, then, you resurrected,
I will rise again; so let's go there,
The day, however short, is better than the night.

Admit it’s striking! But nowadays, we no longer know how to talk about love directly, we have to be more subtle. And declaring your love in the words of a 15th century poet could make you look like a sociopath and scare the beauty away. So don't take a chance. Just talk about what’s around you, the coffee, the decor, the barista’s tattoos. Ask questions. What is she interested in? His job, his hobbies? You are not there for yourself but for her, keep the follow-spot on her. Try to find things in common and talk naturally. I, Me, Me is forbidden. Strictly forbidden.

The zodiac sign

The most important detail of this text and essential and obligatory question: What is your sign? Still try to cover the question by introducing the subject skillfully because astrology, numerology, cartomancy and cafédomancy are subjects conducive to creating a form of social exclusion for those who practice it or who give it credit. . And yet, Julius Caesar himself had his private astrologer. It's still not nothing.

You can then go on the web and check the compatibility of your signs. I know no one does this but it's a good habit to get into and it could be an indicator for the future.

So do a little reading to distinguish the different types of astrology in order to better guide your meeting. For example, in Chinese astrology, we do not interact in the same way with a “fire snake” as with a “wooden rabbit”. It's logic! So be prepared.

Iphone and other holy relic

Leave your phone, iPad, and other objects of worship at home, or, if that's too difficult, in your car. What about the guy who tweets during his first date... I can't believe I have to write this. At the time of the Crusades, it happened daily that a noble knight, returning from a war, would court a high-ranking princess. Well know, that an unwritten law of the code of chivalry strictly prohibited the knight from fiddling, during their first meeting, with their holy relics brought back from the crusades. And as much as the knight's beauty didn't give a damn about his fragment of tibia that belonged to Saint-Joachim, even if it had allowed him to get out of a dead end during an ambush made by a group of Turks armed to the teeth, your girlfriend also doesn't give a damn about your ipad-touch-phone or other gadget even if you have the latest app or version of iOS 10.22.


Be accommodating. If your loved one puts sugar and cream in her coffee, or worse, hazelnut syrup, that doesn't make that person a dunce in married life. So, no snobbery. Instead, see it as a passion to share, and give it to him for the first time. Why not an espresso, tell her she doesn't have to drink it. Just dip your lips in it. She will remember this first time. We all remember our first time.

Also take advantage of your café environment, knowledge of the terrain will increase your confidence. According to Sun Tzu

“The topographic configuration is of valuable assistance in military operations. A great general builds his victory on knowledge of the enemy and takes precise account of the nature of the terrain and distances. » (chapter 10, The Art of War)

Ok, you are not at war, and the chosen one is not your enemy, but take your preparation seriously and act like a good tactician. If you are a regular customer of the coffeeshop, make sure the barista knows your name and your favorite brew (which a good barista should know anyway). If you don't have a favorite coffeeshop, know that it is as important as being able to say: my lawyer, my notary, my accountant, my hairdresser, my mechanic, etc. Own a coffeeshop! And, please, no chain (Starbucks, Van Houtte, or worse Tim Hortons…)

Being in the heart of the savannah is sweet for the lion's heart, he is brave, proud and courageous, put the same lion in the Gaspésie park in January, he will be less vigorous there... You understand the point. Control, tame and use your coffee environment. And according to a short scientific survey conducted by myself, having your own coffeeshop and being a regular there is sexy. Very sexy!

Intellectual shortcut:

Save yourself if:

  • She arrives late. Wait 15 minutes and leave (protect your self-esteem)
  • She talks about her ex, the past, her childhood, her cats (Especially the cats!)
  • She has a Tassimo, Keurig or Nespresso at home and says she is satisfied with them
  • She doesn't laugh at your jokes
  • She is a member of the youth wing of the Liberal, Conservative or Hitler Youth parties.
  • You have nothing in common after 10 minutes of discussion

Marry her immediately if:

  • She laughs at your jokes
  • She orders a short espresso with a glass of water
  • She has a good coffee grinder at home, A chemex, V60 or Clever
  • At the first meeting she wears the same dress as Anna Karenina at the St. Petersburg ball

You now have what you need to prepare for your meeting. The adage says: Pleasure is in desire. Give yourself time, the quest is often more important than the conquest, a little restraint should not displease.

Have confidence in yourself, prepare the ground and go for it!

Danny Marquis


  • Steeve Ferron


  • Denise Therriault- Ruest

    Comme disait le poètre: L’amour, c’est d’l’ouvrage!

    Beau texte ! Je me suis bien divertie.

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